1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,071 - OKAY, GUYS. THE BATTLE ROYALE IS COMING UP. 2 00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:06,274 EVERY DEPARTMENT IN ONE ROOM, ARGUING FOR MORE MONEY. 3 00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,576 BUDGETARY THUNDERDOME! 4 00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:11,645 SO, UH, MAKE LISTS OF WHY OTHER DEPARTMENTS SUCK, 5 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,814 AND I'M GONNA GO GET THE SECRET WEAPON. 6 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,484 OUR SECRET WEAPON IN THIS BUDGETARY BATTLE? 7 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,585 RON. 8 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,288 EVERY TIME ANOTHER DEPARTMENT ASKS FOR MORE MONEY, 9 00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,556 HE JUST STARES THEM DOWN UNTIL THEY BACK OFF 10 00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:25,793 AND/OR WET THEMSELVES. 11 00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:29,297 HEY, WHO'S READY TO GET-- 12 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:30,298 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 13 00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:32,533 - TAMMY ONE SHOWED UP. 14 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,169 I'M BEING AUDITED BY THE IRS. 15 00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:36,537 - NO! 16 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:37,705 YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE. 17 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,407 - YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW THIS. 18 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,443 FIRST OF ALL, INCOME TAX IS ILLEGAL. 19 00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:45,379 SECOND, TAMMY IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL MASTERMIND. 20 00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:47,081 THIS IS JUST ANOTHER WAY FOR HER 21 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:49,517 TO PUT HER HAND UP MY KEISTER 22 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,852 AND CONTROL ME LIKE A PUPPET. 23 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,321 I'D RATHER BE LOCKED UP. 24 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,589 - RON, THIS IS A FEDERAL TAX AUDIT. 25 00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:57,358 YOU COULD GO TO JAIL. 26 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,359 JAIL, RON. 27 00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,593 RON, JAIL. 28 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:00,794 JAIL, RON, JAIL. 29 00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,196 YOU COULD GO TO JAIL. 30 00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,331 JAIL, JAIL, JAIL. 31 00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:04,332 - ARE YOU BROKEN? 32 00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,599 - ANDY, APRIL! 33 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:06,667 - WHAT'S UP, BOSS? 34 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:07,501 - STOP YELLING AND BEING ANNOYING. 35 00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:10,471 - GRAB YOUR CALCULATORS. SETTLE IN. 36 00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:13,141 OPERATION RESCUE RON IS STARTING. 37 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,242 DON'T WORRY. 38 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,376 I WILL THINK OF A BETTER NAME FOR IT BY TOMORROW. 39 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,377 - HERE YOU GO. 40 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,445 - CALCULATOR. 41 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:20,448 [triumphant music] 42 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:26,487 * 43 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:39,900 - HEY... - HEY, MAN. 44 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:40,868 - BEN. 45 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:43,171 - HEY, THANKS FOR TEXTING ME TO HANG OUT. 46 00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:44,372 I'VE REALLY FELT LIKE WE'VE DEVELOPED 47 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:45,406 A COOL FRIENDSHIP, AND-- 48 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,308 ANYWAY, IT WAS JUST NICE TO HAVE THAT VALIDATED. 49 00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:48,442 - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 50 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:51,545 LOOK, WE GOT SOME DOCUMENTS OVER AT ENTERTAINMENT720 51 00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:53,147 THAT SEEM REALLY COMPLICATED. 52 00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:54,615 AND I THOUGHT, MAYBE YOU COULD TAKE A LOOK AT THEM 53 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:58,819 BECAUSE NERD STUFF PROBABLY REALLY EXCITES YOU, 54 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,154 BECAUSE YOU'RE A NERD. 55 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:01,555 - NO, OF COURSE. YEAH, NO, I JUST-- 56 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,157 PUT ON MY STAR WARS PAJAMAS 57 00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:04,558 AND SIT IN MY MOM'S BASEMENT 58 00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:05,693 AND PORE OVER SOME SPREADSHEETS. 59 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:06,694 SOUNDS GREAT. 60 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:07,761 YEAH. W-W-WHAT'D YOU GOT? 61 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:10,598 - SOMETHING CALLED "BREAK EVEN ANALYSIS TABLES." 62 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,599 - OH, BREAK EVENS? 63 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,600 THOSE ARE REALLY FUN. 64 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:13,601 YEAH, SURE. I'LL TAKE A LOOK. 65 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,602 - LET'S HIT IT. 66 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:15,603 - WHAT YOU-- RIGHT NOW? 67 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,371 UH--I HAVE WORK. 68 00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:20,641 - AND I THOUGHT I HAD A FRIEND. 69 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,609 - ALL RIGHT. 70 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,511 - IT'S ALMOST TOO EASY. 71 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:24,512 - I CAN HEAR YOU. 72 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:25,679 - [laughs] 73 00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:26,947 I KNOW YOU CAN, BEN. 74 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,949 THAT'S HOW EASY IT IS. 75 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,719 - SO WE NEED TO FIND PROOF OF EVERY TAX DEDUCTION 76 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,754 I'VE TAKEN IN THE LAST FIVE YEARS. 77 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,689 - RON, MOST OF THESE AREN'T EVEN RECEIPTS. 78 00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:39,193 THIS ONE SAYS, "I BOUGHT SUPPLIES. 2007". 79 00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:41,662 - YOU WON'T FIND ANY BANK STATEMENTS EITHER. 80 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,264 I'VE HEAVILY INVESTED IN GOLD 81 00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,399 WHICH I'VE BURIED IN SEVERAL DIFFERENT LOCATIONS 82 00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,635 AROUND PAWNEE. 83 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:48,902 OR HAVE I? 84 00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:49,903 - WHAT'S THIS? 85 00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:51,539 SOME KIND OF LAME DRUG DEAL? 86 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,307 - THAT IS A GENTLEMAN'S AGREEMENT. 87 00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,209 I MADE THAT MAN A DINING ROOM TABLE 88 00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:57,478 IN EXCHANGE FOR 60 FEET OF COPPER PIPE 89 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:58,912 AND A HALF PIG. 90 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:01,382 - WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE SOME ACTUAL RECEIPTS HERE. 91 00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:04,252 SAME AMOUNT, EVERY MONTH. 140 BUCKS. 92 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:05,253 WHAT'S THIS? 93 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,287 - EVERY 30 DAYS, 94 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,756 I BUY SHOTGUN SHELLS AND CIGARETTES 95 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,358 AND SEND THEM HOME TO MY MOM. 96 00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:11,659 - [laughs] 97 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:12,626 - THAT'S SO SWEET. 98 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,328 YOUR MOM SOUNDS KICKASS. 99 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,497 - MY FIRST EX-WIFE'S NAME IS TAMMY. 100 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,900 MY SECOND EX-WIFE'S NAME IS TAMMY. 101 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:24,905 MY MOM'S NAME IS TAMARA. 102 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,607 SHE GOES BY TAMMY. 103 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:30,478 - YOU CAN PREVENT ADULT-ONSET DIABETES 104 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:33,247 BY GETTING AN ANNUAL CHECK-UP, 105 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:34,915 EXERCISING, 106 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:35,916 PRAYING... 107 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:36,917 - OKAY. [clears throat] 108 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:37,918 - WHO IS THAT GUY? 109 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:38,819 - THAT IS WALT MORPHLING. 110 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,621 HE WAS THE DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC HEALTH, 111 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:42,323 BUT HE HAD TO RETIRE AT 46 112 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,491 BECAUSE HE HAD DIABETES. 113 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:44,725 - THAT IS SAD, BUT ALSO, 114 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,794 IN THIS TOWN, UNDERSTANDABLE. 115 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:47,895 - I WOULD LIKE TO SHOOT A NEW PSA 116 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,330 AND I THINK IT'D BE GOOD TO GET SOMEONE 117 00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:50,931 WHO'S HEALTHY AND TELEGENIC, 118 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:55,336 AND I THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD BE PERFECT. 119 00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:56,437 - ANN PERKINS. 120 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,438 I AM FLATTERED. 121 00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:58,439 AND I WILL DO IT. 122 00:03:58,472 --> 00:03:59,540 IS THERE A SCRIPT YET? 123 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,975 - UH, NO, BECAUSE YOU JUST APPROVED THE IDEA, LIKE, 124 00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,344 THREE SECONDS AGO. 125 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:04,345 - I WOULD LIKE YOU TO WRITE ME A SCRIPT 126 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,313 AND GET IT TO ME IN AN HOUR. 127 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,381 AND WE SHOULD START THINKING ABOUT WARDROBE. 128 00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:08,516 CASUAL? 129 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:09,917 FORMAL? SEMI-FORMAL? 130 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:10,918 SPORTY? 131 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:11,919 SCARY? 132 00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:12,920 POSH? BABY? 133 00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:13,854 THOSE ARE THE SPICE GIRLS. 134 00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,022 I JUST GOT CAUGHT UP IN MY OWN THOUGHTS. 135 00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:15,989 I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS. 136 00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:17,791 - IN TERMS OF SHIRTS, I CAN WEAR WHITE... 137 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:19,727 - WELCOME TO PARADISE, MY MAN. 138 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,995 YOU CAN CHILL OVER THERE BY THE BAR. 139 00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,964 WE ALSO GOT BASKETBALL AT ANY TIME YOU WANT. 140 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,400 THERE'S ROY HIBBERT AND DETLEF SCHREMPF. 141 00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:28,636 - OH, MY GOD. THAT'S AN ACTUAL NBA PLAYER. 142 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,803 HE PLAYS FOR THE PACERS. 143 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:30,804 - NBA'S ON STRIKE, 144 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:31,839 SO WE GOT HIM FOR ONLY, LIKE, 145 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,642 75% OF HIS ORIGINAL NBA SALARY. 146 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:35,943 WHAT UP, ROY? 147 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,044 - IS THIS ALL YOU WANT ME TO DO? 148 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,512 PLAY ONE ON ONE WITH DETLEF? 149 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:39,513 - YES. 150 00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:41,482 AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. 151 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:42,483 JEAN-RALPHIO! 152 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:43,984 - TAKE ME THERE. 153 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:46,620 [shouting] 154 00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:48,889 - BUMP! [laughs] 155 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:49,890 - WHO ARE YOU? 156 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,091 - UH-- - THIS IS BEN. 157 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,092 HE'S HERE TO HELP US WITH THE PAPERWORK. 158 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,093 - BEN? IS THAT YOUR REAL NAME? 159 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,395 - YES. 160 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,363 - OH, YOU COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT. 161 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:56,364 I'MA HELP YOU OUT RIGHT NOW. 162 00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:57,297 YOUR NAME IS ANGELO. 163 00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:58,198 ANGELO, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING OUT. 164 00:04:58,231 --> 00:04:58,999 GET A THICKER TIE. IT LOOKS WEIRD ON YOU. 165 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,402 MAKES YOUR HEAD LOOK LIKE A FISH. 166 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:02,503 SECONDLY, 167 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:03,704 I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE PAPERWORK IS, 168 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:04,705 BUT WHEN YOU FIND IT, 169 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:05,773 CAN YOU TAKE CARE OF IT FOR US? 170 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,441 WE DON'T HAVE ANY PENS 171 00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:08,442 'CAUSE WE'RE AFRAID IT'S GONNA LEAK IN OUR SHIRTS. 172 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:09,577 LASTLY, I HATE THE NAME, ANGELO. 173 00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:10,911 I'MA SWITCH IT UP FOR YOU, RIGHT NOW. 174 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,981 YOUR NEW NICKNAME IS... 175 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,516 JELL-O SHOT. 176 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:17,050 - WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT, J-SHOT? 177 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,051 DO YOU HAVE QUESTIONS? 178 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,053 - YEAH. WHERE ARE WE? 179 00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:21,021 - ALL RIGHT, BEN. 180 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,122 IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, 181 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,491 ONE OF THESE MODELS THAT WE PAY TO HANG AROUND HERE 182 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:24,992 WILL GRAB IT FOR YOU. 183 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,027 IN THE MEANTIME, WE'RE GONNA BE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES, 184 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,029 TWEETING OUR HIGH SCORES. 185 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,030 - HIT IT! 186 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,832 - UM, HI. 187 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:34,134 ARE YOU THE RECEPTIONIST? 188 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,135 - I GUESS. 189 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,370 I DON'T REALLY KNOW. 190 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:37,371 - IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING, 191 00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,507 HOW MUCH ARE THEY PAYING YOU? 192 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,475 - $100,000 A YEAR. 193 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:44,011 WITH FULL MEDICAL. 194 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,579 - I MEAN, I WOULD GUESS THEY'LL BE BANKRUPT 195 00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:47,014 BY THE END OF... 196 00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:51,452 THIS SENTENCE. 197 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,621 NO, THANK YOU. 198 00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:54,722 - IS THIS TRUE? 199 00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:57,658 YOU ONLY SPENT $40 ON CLOTHES IN THE PAST 5 YEARS? 200 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,959 - IT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. 201 00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,128 - HOW DID YOU MEET TAMMY ONE? 202 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:03,030 - TECHNICALLY, I'VE KNOWN HER SINCE I WAS BORN. 203 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:05,399 SHE WAS A CANDY STRIPER AT THE HOSPITAL. 204 00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:06,400 SHE HELPED DELIVER ME. 205 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,402 all: OH, MY GOD. 206 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:10,070 - I GREW UP IN A VERY SMALL TOWN. 207 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,605 600 PEOPLE. 208 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:13,774 EVERYBODY KNEW EVERYBODY ELSE. 209 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,876 WE FIRST TOOK UP TOGETHER WHEN I WAS 15. 210 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,411 - AWESOME. - OH, MY GOD. 211 00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:18,579 - IT WAS A LITTLE SCANDALOUS, 212 00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:21,915 BUT EVERYONE FEARED HER, SO THEY KEPT THEIR MOUTHS SHUT. 213 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:24,151 - I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER, BUT SHE'S MY HERO. 214 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,454 - NO, SHE'S NO HERO, APRIL. 215 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,489 SHE'S A HELLACIOUS NIGHTMARE. 216 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:31,525 SHE DID, HOWEVER, TEACH ME EVERYTHING I KNOW. 217 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,627 SUNDAY SCHOOL, SEX. 218 00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:35,195 SHE WAS MY MATH TEACHER IN MIDDLE SCHOOL 219 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,998 AND MY BABYSITTER, AND SHE TAUGHT DRIVER'S ED. 220 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,032 I-- 221 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:42,770 - HELLO. 222 00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:43,771 I DON'T BELIEVE WE'VE MET. 223 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,906 I AM LESLIE KNOPE, DEPUTY-- 224 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,207 - I DON'T THINK IT WILL BE NECESSARY 225 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,612 FOR YOU TO SPEAK AGAIN WHILE I'M HERE. 226 00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:54,815 - WHY DO I ONLY DATE BRUNETTES? 227 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:57,017 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU EAT CHICKEN 228 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,118 AND YOU GET FOOD POISONING 229 00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:01,955 AND THEN, EVEN THE SIGHT OF CHICKEN MAKES YOU SICK? 230 00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,725 TAMMY ONE IS MY BLONDE CHICKEN. 231 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,194 - GOOD GOD, RONALD. 232 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,930 THIS IS A MUCH BIGGER MESS THAN I IMAGINED. 233 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,231 YOU'LL TAKE A WEEK OFF FROM WORK. 234 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,200 WE'LL DO A COMPLETE OVERHAUL OF YOUR FINANCES. 235 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,068 I'LL NEED ACCESS TO ALL YOUR ACCOUNTS, 236 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:18,005 AND YOUR HOME. 237 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,673 - IS THAT NECESSARY? 238 00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:20,874 - OH, OH. 239 00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,910 WE'RE PLAYING A GAME WHERE EVERYONE SAYS SOMETHING STUPID? 240 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,878 - [laughs] 241 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,715 - YOU. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? 242 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,049 - TIM. 243 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,050 TIM BUCKENOWSKI. 244 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,752 - REALLY? 245 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:32,753 - NO. 246 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,954 ANDY DWYER. 247 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,255 - ANDY... 248 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,657 YOU'RE GOING TO COLLECT ALL OF THIS, 249 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,792 AND YOU'RE GOING TO PUT IT IN MY CAR. 250 00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:39,927 - WHAT-- - MS. KNOPE. 251 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:40,928 - YES? 252 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,496 - YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO PAYROLL 253 00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:45,566 AND GET COPIES OF RONALD'S WORKPLACE EXPENSE REPORTS. 254 00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:48,902 - OH, I--I'M JUST WONDERING HOW LONG THAT'S GOING TO TAKE, 255 00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:51,505 BECAUSE RON AND I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT MEETING TOGETHER. 256 00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:52,740 IT'S CALLED THE BATTLE ROYALE. 257 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:53,707 IT'S SUPER FUN. 258 00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:54,608 WELL... 259 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:57,645 - YOU AND RON HAVE A BIG MEETING, HUH? 260 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,947 - I'M SURE RON WILL REMEMBER THE MEETING FONDLY 261 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,583 WHILE HE MAKES TOILET WINE IN A FEDERAL PRISON 262 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:06,119 IN TERRE HAUTE. 263 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,856 - I'LL--I'LL HEAD DOWN TO PAYROLL. 264 00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:11,024 - [clears throat] NOW. 265 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:12,693 YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER. 266 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,128 - YES, MA'AM. 267 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:19,266 - SHE'S THE COLD, DISTANT MOTHER 268 00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,935 I NEVER HAD. 269 00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,837 I LOVE HER. 270 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,241 - [whistling] 271 00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:29,810 GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE. 272 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,245 - GOOD MORNING, SIR. HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 273 00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:34,281 - RON? YOUR MOUSTACHE FELL OFF. 274 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,316 - [laughs] 275 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,317 LESLIE, YOU GOOFBALL. 276 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,019 [laughs] 277 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,754 TAMMY POINTED OUT THAT MY FACE LOOKED BETTER 278 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:41,889 WITHOUT ANY HAIR ON IT. 279 00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,691 AND IT COLLECT A LOT OF FOOD CRUMBS, 280 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:46,326 WHICH IS VERY UNSANITARY. 281 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,294 HEY, JER. 282 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,830 HUMP DAY, AM I RIGHT, BUDDY? [snaps fingers] 283 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:50,998 - WHAT? 284 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:51,999 - WHAT IS GOING ON? 285 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,000 WHERE'S TAMMY ONE? 286 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,001 - SHE MOVED IN WITH ME. 287 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,636 SHE'S REALLY HELPING ME OUT. 288 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,971 YESTERDAY, SHE CONVERTED MY BANK ACCOUNT 289 00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,940 INTO A JOINT BANK ACCOUNT WITH HER. 290 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,108 - OH. THAT'S GREAT. 291 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,010 AND HOW IS THAT GONNA HELP? 292 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,011 - NOT SURE. 293 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,746 WHEN SHE EXPLAINS IT, IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE. 294 00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,582 IT IS SO NICE HAVING HER AROUND. 295 00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:09,983 HERE'S SOMETHING NEAT. 296 00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:11,351 TAMMY'S GOT ME TAKING BABY ASPIRIN 297 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,955 TO LOWER MY RISK OF HEART DISEASE. 298 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,857 SCIENCE IS A MIRACLE. 299 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,693 ANY-WHO, BACK TO THE OLD GRINDSTONE. 300 00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:21,695 THESE EMAILS AREN'T GONNA SEND THEMSELVES. 301 00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,664 [laughs] 302 00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:26,033 - DIABETES CAN'T BE CURED. 303 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,968 BUT IT CAN BE PREVENTED. 304 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,237 MAKE A CHOICE. MAKE A CHANGE. 305 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,371 AND TOGETHER, 306 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,340 WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. 307 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:34,842 WHAT DO YOU THINK? ANY NOTES? 308 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:35,976 - GREAT. 309 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,310 JUST AS GOOD, IF NOT EXACTLY THE SAME 310 00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,211 AS THE LAST ONE. 311 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,147 IN THAT LAST ONE, I LEFT A NANOSECOND 312 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,649 OF A PAUSE BETWEEN THE WORDS, 313 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,816 "TOGETHER" AND "WE." 314 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:43,884 IT FELT MUCH BETTER. 315 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,085 BUT I'D LOVE TO TRY ANOTHER ONE. 316 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,820 - I REALLY THINK WE'VE GOT IT. 317 00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:47,955 - ANN. 318 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,022 THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME 319 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,357 BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU. 320 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,959 I MEAN, YOU SPENT A LOT OF TIME AND ENERGY 321 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:52,960 ON WRITING THIS. 322 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:53,994 - NOT REALLY. 323 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,963 - SO, IT NEEDS TO BE PERFECT. 324 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,665 SO, LET'S DO 1 MORE, THEN 5 MORE, 325 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,667 THEN 20 IN A ROW. 326 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,002 - HEY, LOOK WHO IT IS. 327 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,103 - HEY, HEY. 328 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:06,073 - TOM. JEAN-RALPHIO. 329 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,908 PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL PLAYERS. 330 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,342 - 'SUP, JELL-O SHOT. 331 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,244 - CAN I ASK YOU GUYS A QUESTION? 332 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,046 HOW EXACTLY ARE YOU MAKING MONEY? 333 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:13,947 - WANNA KNOW HOW WE MAKE MONEY? 334 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,649 - DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW WE MAKE MONEY? 335 00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:17,718 - BY LITERALLY PRINTING OUT OUR MONEY. 336 00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:20,053 - WE BOUGHT A PRINTING PRESS. 337 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,755 THIS PRINTS BILLS WITH OUR FACES 338 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:24,825 AND THE E720 LOGO ON THEM. 339 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,927 - AND PROMOTE THE COMPANY BY GOING TO CLUBS 340 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,361 AND TOSSING THE BILLS IN THE AIR AND SCREAMING, 341 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,097 "FREE MONEY!" 342 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:33,033 - YOU CAN'T JUST PRINT YOUR OWN MONEY. 343 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:34,702 THIS HAS TO STOP, 344 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:35,703 RIGHT NOW. 345 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:38,739 [rap music] 346 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,013 - AWW! 347 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:46,914 - WHAT'S THE DEAL, BABY? 348 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:47,848 ONE SECOND, YOU HIT THE PARTY SWITCH, 349 00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,282 AND THE NEXT SECOND, YOU'RE ALL BUSINESS? 350 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,984 - I NEED TO SEE ALL OF YOUR BOOKS. 351 00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:51,985 - YOU GOT IT, BABY. 352 00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,053 BABY! 353 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,054 GET HIM THE BOOKS. 354 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,455 - AWW, SNAPPLE. 355 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,124 ARE WE CALLING EVERYBODY "BABY" NOW? 356 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,125 'CAUSE HONESTLY, 357 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,192 I LOVE THAT. 358 00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:00,260 - ARE WE SAYING "SNAPPLE" 359 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,261 ANYTIME WE THINK SOMETHING'S DOPE? 360 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,329 'CAUSE I LOVE THAT, BABY. 361 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:03,330 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE? 362 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,331 [whistles] 363 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:05,432 JELL-O SHOT! 364 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:08,101 [rap music plays] - UH-OH! 365 00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,137 HIBBERT, HIBBERT. 366 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,205 all: HUP, JELL-O SHOT! 367 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:13,874 JELL-O SHOT! 368 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,208 JELL-O SHOT! 369 00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:16,209 JELL-O SHOT! 370 00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:17,277 - THANK YOU. 371 00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:18,445 - WE'RE HERE TO SERVE YOU, FRIEND. 372 00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:21,214 I HOPE THE REST OF YOUR DAY IS COOL BEANS. 373 00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:22,015 - RON, 374 00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,017 WHAT IS THIS MEMO YOU SENT TO ME? 375 00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:26,086 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THE BATTLE ROYALE? 376 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:28,221 - I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO ATTEND THIS YEAR. 377 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:29,790 - OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, IT'S DISTURBING 378 00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,792 THAT YOU WROTE A MEMO, AT ALL. 379 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,461 BUT YOU LOVE ARGUING AGAINST GOVERNMENT SPENDING. 380 00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:35,863 WHY DO YOU NOT WANNA DO IT NOW? 381 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,130 - LESLIE, PLEASE. 382 00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:39,132 THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS WHAT IT'S DOING. 383 00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,200 I'M CONFIDENT THAT I'LL-- 384 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,369 OUCHIE. 385 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,137 - YOU AND I ARE GOING TO LUNCH. 386 00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:45,839 WE HAVE TO TALK. 387 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,908 - LET ME JUST CALL TAMMY FIRST AND GET PERMISSION. 388 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,811 - OH, COME ON. 389 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:51,912 - TAMMY, 390 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:55,082 I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD GO TO LUNCH WITH LESLIE? 391 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,083 TERRIFIC. 392 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:57,084 BYE. 393 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:58,251 SHE SAYS I CAN'T GO. 394 00:11:58,285 --> 00:11:59,987 - YOU'RE GOING TO LUNCH WITH ME. 395 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:03,223 I SAY YOU CAN GO. 396 00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:05,058 - OH, GOSH. 397 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,259 I'M REALLY IN A PICKLE NOW. 398 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:07,494 - OH, MY GOD. 399 00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,162 WHEN RON FALLS FOR TAMMY TWO, 400 00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:11,331 HE TURNS INTO A DEMONIC SEX MANIAC. 401 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,365 BUT THIS? 402 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,366 NEUTERED WIMP? 403 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,434 THIS IS WORSE. 404 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:17,170 OPERATION GOLDEN DOVE IS IN TROUBLE. 405 00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:19,239 RON, THERE ARE SOME THINGS I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT 406 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,942 BUT I'M NOT QUITE SURE HOW TO PHRASE THEM. 407 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,510 - JUST BLURT THEM RIGHT OUT, LESLIE. 408 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:26,313 ANYTHING YOU SAY WILL STAY BETWEEN YOU AND ME. 409 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,480 RIGHT, MY LOVE? 410 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,782 - STOP FIDGETING. 411 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:29,649 - SORRY. 412 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:31,484 - I WAS HOPING TO SPEAK WITH RON ALONE. 413 00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:32,886 - HE WANTS ME HERE. 414 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,254 HE INVITED ME. 415 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,056 NA-NA-NA-NA-NA. 416 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,257 - DON'T WORRY, LESLIE. 417 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,226 TAMMY'S TOTALLY COOL. 418 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,227 - HUH, OKAY. 419 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,328 THEN I'LL SAY IT TO HER. 420 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:42,963 YOU'RE EVIL, AND YOU NEED TO GO. 421 00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:44,497 [both chuckle] 422 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,067 - LESLIE, YOU ARE A PANIC. 423 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,202 TAMMY, MAY I USE THE RESTROOM? 424 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:53,506 - REMEMBER TO WASH YOUR HANDS. 425 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,075 - OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 426 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,077 LET'S CUT THE CRAP. 427 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,012 IS THIS AUDIT EVEN REAL? 428 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,281 - IN A SENSE, YES. 429 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,817 BUT IN ANOTHER, TRUER SENSE, NO, 430 00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:05,252 IT IS NOT. 431 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,887 I WANT RONALD BACK, 432 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,321 BUT I HAD TO LEARN ABOUT HIS FINANCES, 433 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,390 TO MAKE SURE MY FUTURE WAS PROTECTED. 434 00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:11,825 I'M IMPRESSED. 435 00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:14,962 HE'S ACQUIRED QUITE A BIT OF GOLD. 436 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:18,231 - YOU GOLD DIGGER. 437 00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:21,969 YOU'RE LITERALLY A GOLD DIGGER. 438 00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:26,006 - THE THING I LOVE ABOUT TAMMY IS SHE CALLS ME ON MY CRAP. 439 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,807 EVERY GUY NEEDS THAT. 440 00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:35,115 - OKAY, IF YOU WANT THIS COMPANY TO SURVIVE, 441 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,884 YOU IMMEDIATELY NEED TO DOWNSIZE. 442 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,485 I MEAN, YOU DON'T NEED THIS AIRPLANE HANGAR. 443 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:39,686 - UM, I THINK WE DO. 444 00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:43,991 - AND TWO, YOU HAVE TO KEEP DETAILED FINANCIAL RECORDS. 445 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,125 - THANK YOU! 446 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,326 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL THEM THAT! 447 00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,627 - WASTE OF TIME. 448 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,596 THEY WOULDN'T KNOW A NON-EMPLOYEE TAX-REPORTABLE 449 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:52,365 EXPENDITURE REQUEST IF IT BIT THEM IN THE ASS. 450 00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:55,202 - HEY GUYS, WHICH TWO PEOPLE HERE STARTED THEIR OWN COMPANY? 451 00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:57,570 'CAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE IT WASN'T YOU TWO BOZOS. 452 00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:58,638 - HEY! 453 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,408 - LOOK, YOU GUYS CAN SWAGGER AROUND ALL YOU WANT, 454 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,377 BUT BUSINESSES NEED REVENUE, OKAY? 455 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,247 UNLESS YOU START WORKING ON AN ACTUAL PLAN, 456 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,248 YOU'RE DEAD IN A MONTH. 457 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:09,316 THAT'S A FACT. 458 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,984 - BEN, THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. 459 00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:12,385 BUT WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, 460 00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,187 AS FAR AS BUSINESS DECISIONS GO, 461 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:15,923 I THINK WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING. 462 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:19,226 DON'T FORGET TO GRAB A FREE iPad ON YOUR WAY OUT. 463 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:21,061 - HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ONE. 464 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,062 - DIABETES! 465 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,364 FIGHT IT! 466 00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,499 NOT QUITE, BUT I LIKE THE ENERGY--ARE WE STILL ROLLING? 467 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,268 - YUP. 468 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,102 - DIABETES! 469 00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,004 - OKAY, LET'S--CAN WE TAKE A BREAK? 470 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,139 - I THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. 471 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:33,473 I THINK WE ALMOST HAVE IT, 472 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,675 AND I AM VERY EXCITED AT THAT PROSPECT. 473 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,011 I'LL CANCEL MY FOUR O'CLOCK AND MY FIVE O'CLOCK 474 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,579 AND MY SIX O'CLOCK APPOINTMENTS. 475 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,548 - I CANNOT BELIEVE I DATED HIM. 476 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,383 FOR A LONG TIME. 477 00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,252 AND HE BROKE UP WITH ME! 478 00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,254 - FAT EQUALS SPLAT! 479 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,122 AS IN, "YOU'RE DEAD!" 480 00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:50,123 IS THERE SOMETHING THERE? 481 00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:51,124 NO--NO. THAT--THAT SUCKED. 482 00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:52,292 BUT THERE'S SOMETHING THERE. 483 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,393 I'M FEELING IT-- LET'S GO RIGHT AWAY! 484 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:54,394 IT'S MAGIC TIME! 485 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,396 FROM THE TOP, EVERYBODY. 486 00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,431 - THERE'S NO ONE ELSE HERE. 487 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,700 - BASICALLY, WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY GODZILLA. 488 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,303 AND TO BEAT GODZILLA, WE NEED MOTHRA. 489 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:04,371 NO OFFENSE. 490 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,174 - NONE TAKEN. I'M VERY FLATTERED. 491 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:08,141 - WHO'S THIS? 492 00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:09,209 WHO'S THIS TALL DRINK OF WATER? 493 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,210 - ANDY. 494 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,444 - HEY, ANDY. 495 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:12,512 HOW'S IT HANGING? 496 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:16,083 - LISTEN, WE NEED YOU TO BREAK RON FROM HER SPELL. 497 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,551 CAN'T YOU JUST MOVE YOUR BUTT AROUND, 498 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,587 OR WEAR A DRESS MADE OUT OF MEAT? 499 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:23,156 - WELL I COULD DO ALL THOSE THINGS AND HAVE, 500 00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:25,092 BUT THAT BITCH IS CRAZY. 501 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:29,162 WHEN RON LEFT HER AND WE GOT TOGETHER, 502 00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:30,597 SHE THREW ACID ON MY FOOT. 503 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:31,731 - EWW! 504 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,533 - COULD WE TAKE A PEEK AT IT? 505 00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:37,437 - LISTEN, TAMMY ONE WAS MY SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER, TOO. 506 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,272 SHE CAN PINPOINT YOUR WEAKNESSES, 507 00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:42,709 AND THEN DESTROY YOU WITH JUST ONE WORD. 508 00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,044 AND A JAR OF ACID. 509 00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:45,278 - OH, MY GOD. 510 00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,614 - I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA THAT COULD SAVE RON. 511 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,416 - ANDY, DON'T JOKE AROUND. 512 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:52,986 - I HAVE IDEAS, TOO. 513 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,354 - YOU WERE RIGHT TO COME GET ME. 514 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:57,024 MY SON RONNIE ALWAYS HAD A WEAKNESS FOR THOSE LADIES. 515 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,025 - OH, WOW. 516 00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,192 IS THIS RON? 517 00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:00,760 - YUP. AT THE AGE OF FIVE. 518 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,295 HE'S STANDING NEXT TO THE FIRST CHAIR 519 00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:03,296 HE EVER BUILT. 520 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:06,199 - OH, MY GOD! 521 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:09,202 THERE'S A ROOM FULL OF JUST GUNS. 522 00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:11,471 - WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY GUNS? 523 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,106 - THIS IS AMERICA, ISN'T IT? 524 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,141 - YES. 525 00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,176 - THEN I DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER STUPID QUESTIONS 526 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,245 WHILE STANDING ON MY OWN PROPERTY. 527 00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:20,180 LET'S GO. [whistles] 528 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,415 - OKAY. WELL, IT'S DEFINITELY RON'S MOM. 529 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,753 - TAMMY. 530 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,155 - TAMMY. 531 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,156 - RONNIE. 532 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,423 - WHAT'S GOING ON? 533 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:32,292 - WELCOME TO THE BATTLE ROYALE. 534 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,793 RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW. 535 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,463 OPERATION SOARING FALCON 536 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,032 IS IN ITS FINAL STAGES. 537 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,801 - IT'S TIME TO SETTLE THIS. 538 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,803 - AH. 539 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,539 AN OLD-FASHIONED PRAIRIE DRINK-OFF. 540 00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:48,141 - WHAT'S IN THAT JUG? 541 00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,110 IT SMELLS LIKE JET FUEL. 542 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:52,512 - THAT'S SWANSON FAMILY MASH LIQUOR. 543 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:55,782 MADE FROM THE FINEST CORN EVER GROWN ON AMERICAN SOIL. 544 00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:57,784 ITS ONLY LEGAL USE IS TO STRIP VARNISH 545 00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:00,053 OFF OF SPEEDBOATS. 546 00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:01,788 - IF YOU WIN, HE'S ALL YOURS. 547 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,523 AND IF I WIN, I BRING HIM BACK TO THE FARM 548 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:04,657 FOR GOOD. 549 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,359 - WAIT, WHAT? THAT WASN'T THE DEAL. 550 00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:07,660 - POUR IT. I'M THIRSTY. 551 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:08,661 - POUR ME ONE, TOO, THEN. 552 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:09,796 LET ME IN HERE. 553 00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:12,799 I'M GONNA JOIN YOU AND IF I WIN, 554 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,434 RON STAYS HERE WITH US. 555 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,702 - LESLIE, NO, DON'T DRINK THAT. 556 00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:20,039 WE USE IT TO BURN WARTS OFF OF THE MULES! 557 00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:30,617 - POISON! 558 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,152 UGH! 559 00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,287 I MADE A MISTAKE. 560 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:37,524 I MADE A MISTAKE. 561 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,692 - HOW WERE WE TOGETHER FOR FIVE MONTHS? 562 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,861 - WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S POSSIBLE YOU CAN JUST DATE A GUY 563 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:45,398 BECAUSE OF WHERE YOU ARE IN YOUR LIFE EMOTIONALLY. 564 00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:46,533 - YEAH, I SUPPOSE YOU'RE RIGHT, JOHN. 565 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,634 - ANN PERKINS, 566 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,403 I HATE TO SAY THIS, BUT I HAVE A STAIN ON MY SHIRT. 567 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:53,273 WHICH MEANS THAT EVERYTHING WE SHOT SO FAR IS UNUSABLE, 568 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:54,874 BUT LET'S USE THIS AS AN OPPORTUNITY 569 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,709 TO REVISIT THE SCRIPT. 570 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:57,810 DELIVERY GUY. 571 00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:59,212 - HEY. - DIABETES! 572 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:03,216 - HAD ENOUGH? 573 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,552 - OF THIS WATERED-DOWN BABY FORMULA? 574 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,819 NOT EVEN CLOSE. 575 00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,656 - NOT MEVEN CLARSE. 576 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:12,725 MARVIN CLODS. 577 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,261 GLENN CLOSE. 578 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,795 - LESLIE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS... 579 00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:20,567 - SHH! GO TO BED, JIMMY. 580 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,568 WRAH! 581 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,536 I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE. 582 00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:24,871 MY FACE IS NUMB. 583 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,639 [hissing] 584 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,645 WHAT IS THAT? 585 00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:36,183 - AND TOGETHER, WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. 586 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,384 THAT'S IT. 587 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:39,286 I THINK WE GOT IT. DO YOU THINK WE GOT IT? 588 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,488 - YES! YEAH, WE HAVE IT. 589 00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,656 WE HAD IT SEVEN HOURS AGO. 590 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,625 - OH, ANN, I--I KNOW THAT I CAN BE INTENSE, 591 00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:48,561 BUT I'M ONLY TRYING TO BE THE BEST ME THAT I CAN BE. 592 00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:50,563 I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY 593 00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:51,698 AND YOUR PATIENCE, 594 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:55,768 AND YOUR INTELLIGENCE, AND YOUR INSIGHT. 595 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,938 YOU REALLY ARE AN AMAZING HUMAN BEING. 596 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:02,175 - THANK YOU. 597 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:05,445 - OH, RIGHT-- THAT'S WHY I DATED HIM. 598 00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:07,747 - HEY. 599 00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:09,916 - I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE. 600 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:12,785 WE BROUGHT IN FIVE ACCOUNTANTS TO LOOK AT E720 601 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,754 AND THEY ALL SAID THE SAME THING YOU DID. 602 00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:15,822 IF WE DON'T START MAKING CHANGES, 603 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:16,789 WE'RE GONNA LOSE THE COMPANY. 604 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,326 - OKAY. WELL, FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO: 605 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,793 GET RID OF FOUR OF THOSE ACCOUNTANTS. 606 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,729 YOU DON'T NEED FIVE ACCOUNTANTS. 607 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,431 - AGAIN, GOOD ADVICE. 608 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,233 HERE. 609 00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:29,469 - YOU REALLY--YOU NEED TO STOP GIVING THESE AWAY LIKE CANDY. 610 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,837 - I BOUGHT THAT ONE PERSONALLY. 611 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:31,871 AS A THANK-YOU. 612 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:35,875 IT'S A iPad. 613 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,211 - * EVERYBODY PRANCE, NOW! 614 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:40,347 * PRANCE, PRANCE, PRANCE, PRANCE, PRANCE, PRANCE * 615 00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:41,748 - SHE'S HAD ENOUGH. CALL IT OFF. 616 00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,750 - THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. SHE'S OUT. 617 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:44,917 - WAIT. I'M SUBBING IN. 618 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,786 - APRIL, NO--THAT STUFF WILL MELT 619 00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:48,621 THE SHELL OFF A GARDEN SNAIL. 620 00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:49,456 - WHATEVER. 621 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,591 I'M PUERTO RICAN. I CAN HANDLE IT. 622 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:57,630 [sputters] [bleep], OH, MY GOD! 623 00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:58,631 - OKAY. 624 00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:01,668 THIS ENDS NOW. 625 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:19,486 - AH. 626 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:22,455 - MOM, YOU'RE GOING BACK TO THE FARM. 627 00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:23,823 AND YOU, 628 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,024 YOU'RE GOING BACK TO HELL. 629 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,025 - FINE. 630 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,727 I GOT WHAT I CAME FOR ANYWAY. 631 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,028 I FOUND YOUR UNDERGROUND SAFE. 632 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,730 I STOLE HALF YOUR GOLD. 633 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,599 - THAT'S DECOY GOLD. 634 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:33,466 YOU THINK I'D LEAVE MY GOLD 635 00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,435 IN A LOCKED SAFE BURIED UNDERGROUND, 636 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:37,537 WHERE ANYONE COULD FIND IT? 637 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,905 YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL. 638 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:39,739 - YES, I DO. 639 00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,841 I KNEW YOU THE MINUTE YOU WERE BORN. 640 00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:47,547 AND I INTEND TO BE THERE THE MINUTE YOU DIE. 641 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:51,684 - RON, YOUR FAMILY'S WEIRD. 642 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,186 - LITERALLY, THERE'S A-- SOMEONE READING A MAGAZINE 643 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:55,488 AND SOMEONE APPLYING NAIL POLISH. 644 00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:58,925 WHAT'S THAT--WHAT IS SHE DOING? SHE'S JUST PLAYING WITH AN iPad. 645 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:03,330 TOM TOLD ME THAT CHAIR WAS $27,000. 646 00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:04,797 THAT CHAIR THAT HAS A ROOF. 647 00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:08,368 THE--THERE'S SOMEONE OVER THERE IN A DEEP SLEEP. 648 00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:12,539 SHE'S PROBABLY BEING PAID UPWARDS OF $100,000 A YEAR. 649 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:15,608 THERE'S THIS VIDEO OF A BOAT. 650 00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:17,577 LOOK AT THAT THING. WHAT IS THAT? 651 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,979 WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT THING? 652 00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:24,579 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0